Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."

Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height." and "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."

Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece: "I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."

Shaquille O'Neal, on his lack of championships: "I've won at every level, except college and pro."

Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." (1982)

Darrell Royal, Texas football coach, asked if the abnormal number of Longhorn injuries that season resulted from poor physical conditioning: "One player was lost because he broke his nose. How do you go about getting a nose in condition for football?" (1966)

Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject." (1987)

Americans are the most eclectic sports fans in the world. Most countries have one sport that is followed religiously, like cricket or soccer, but not in America. We put the fan in sports fans and go wild over all kinds of athletic competitions. Even now we are preparing for the big game in the NFL, the Super Bowl. At the same time we are following the Spurs to another championship. Baseball just finished and college basketball is headed for the big tournament and the championship run. Baseball spring training is just around the corner and it all starts over again.

It is also harvest time for coaches. Football coaches turn over faster than Baptist preachers. I read (I don't know whether it was true) that Texas A & M had changed coaches every four years since 1961. Of course, if you can get a job like that where they give you a contract with lots of money and have to keep paying you when you're are laid off, I guess it is a pretty good four-year job. Same way we do our Congressmen and Senator' we elect them for a couple of terms, lay them off and keep paying them the same salary for life.

What has all this got to do with lessons of life to ponder? Not a whole lot but it does us all good to smile once in awhile. I'll get serious next week.