The Telephone

by Jerry Bullock

The telephone, is it a blessing or a curse? We live in the age of communications. It all started with Alexander Graham Bell and has progressed to tiny cell phones worn like pieces of jewelry for instant communications. I have pondered this question of late. Pondering, of course, is an old southern trait. It is the reason Cracker Barrel Restaurants have rocking chairs on the front porch. We ponder the deep subjects of the world, like if the #2 pencil is the most popular pencil in the world . . . why isnąt it # 1?

Well, I have been thinking (another word for ponder, seldom practiced on a large scale) about our telephone practices and how they have changed over the years. As I see it there are three definitive groups of telephone users:

  1. Those age 5 - 15. These almost all have cell phones and are on them almost all the time. When they are not talking on their cells, they are on the home phone or they are on the computer instant messaging all the people they have just been talking to on their cell phones.
  2. There are those 15 to 40 something. They, too, have cell phones but use them somewhat less than the first group. They have home phones with caller ID, call waiting, call forwarding, voice mail, 3-way calling, speed call, busy recall, call return, VIP alert, and distinctive ring tones. But they donąt answer their phones.
  3. Finally there are those over 40 something. We have cell phones but forget to turn them on. Their most common use is to find your wife in Wal-Mart. However, we grew up in an age when you always answered the phone when it rang. In the early days of multiple rings we would answer even if it was not our ring. And, we are the ones trying to call the forty somethings who wonąt answer their phone.
I have pondered the cause of these changes. I blame the cell phone for much of the change in phone behavior. A close second has to be the voice mail inviting you to leave a message for a quick return call. All those calling options we never had when the telephone and we were new.

The "smoking gun," however, must belong to caller ID. This feature allows you three options:

  1. You know who it is and may decide not to talk to them now.
  2. You can listen to the message and decide whether you want to know more.
  3. You have a list of callers that you may go back to later.
"Well, my foot in a tar bucket,"as my mother-in-law used to say, I have made it sound so good, I think I will get those features myself. Now for the good news; the good Lord has given us a perfect communication system. First of all, it is totally wireless. It has no moving parts and gives you a direct connection to God Almighty. Besides that, it is free. It has no menu, no call waiting or call forwarding. It does, however, have caller ID; God knows your name and hears your voice. The line is never busy and you will never be put on hold. It is truly a miracle. With your hot line to God you will never be alone. Call Him up today and let us pray.