Whose birthday is it anyway? Once again we are into the month of presidential birthdays. Valentines Day comes in there someplace as well but that is a different story. Several years ago Congress decided to lump three-day weekends in an orderly fashion and decided to celebrate George Washington’s and Abe Lincoln’s birthdays together. They were both born in February, so the third Monday in February was chosen. Sometimes that date coincides with George’s birthday. That depends on which calendar you use. By the calendar in use at his birth in 1732 he was born on February 11. but it was really February 22nd. Abe got off better since his birthday has always been February 12th. If that leaves you a little confused, it’s okay since the government says it was really the third Monday in February, anyway.

To further confuse things President Nixon declared, by presidential order, that we would just celebrate all presidents on that day, and ever since then it has been called Presidents’ Day. Actual presidential birthdays in February are Washington (22), William Henry Harrison, (9) , Lincoln (12), and Ronald Reagan (6). Putting all that aside, the holiday exists today primarily to allow our former presidents to advertise car sales and clearances on everything from furniture to lingerie.

John Breneman wrote a column for his syndicate that illustrates what I mean. He describes Lincoln, with sad eyes and tall hat in patriotic red white and blue, greeting you from the masthead of the advertising pages exclaiming “No Fooling Ford Motor Company” has the best prices in town. Headlines scream “Historic Deals.”

One ad features a “Presidents’ Day Blowout!” with a postcard view of Mount Rushmore sandwiched between a Toyota Camry and a Tacoma 4X4. Peering off the mountain is Teddy Roosevelt, a Rough Rider and native New Yorker. This is followed by full-bodied cartoon characterizations of Lincoln and Washington running at each other shouting, “We Will Not Be Undersold.”

One ad read “unPRESIDENTED” savings. The word is dead on because in many of these ads Crazy George and Honest Abe are literally un-presidented – stripped of presidential dignity as they are morphed into cartoon characters endorsing mechanized contraptions that did not even exist in their lifetimes.

It does not stop with autos. Warren Harding is hawking china with native New England themes and Ronald Reagan’s choice has an American flag waving across the plate. Thomas Jefferson is seen offering a Pedrini ® enameled corkscrew at the guaranteed low price of just $9.99 while Andrew Jackson tries to sell us a Wearever® non-stick chicken skillet.

There was a simpler time when Americans celebrated Lincoln’s birthday on his birthday and Washington’s birthday on the proper day. The celebrations drew people together around some common ideals and we ate fried chicken in the park. We listened to orations on the sacrifice of our forefathers and the price of freedom. These were topped off with shooting off some nice fireworks and opening the fresh freezers of ice cream for the social.

Now we have a Houston sculptor who plans to do four busts of former presidents, each about fifty feet tall, along Interstate 10. He plans to call it Mount Rush Hour

Not every president deserves a holiday set aside for him but all served their country in the best way they knew how and should be given the respect of the highest office in the land. It is the most powerful office in today’s world. In the spirit of the season, however, we may as well “go forth and oil the economy.” That seems to be the American way in the 21st century. Somehow, I just have a hard time seeing George Washington standing on the street corner and saying, “3,9% financing and no payment until two years from Wednesday,” with a straight face.